Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field.
They saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a rowboat.
The blonde driver turned to her friend and said, “You know, it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”
To this, the other blonde replied, “I know it! And if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and save her.”
A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you desire is yours, just ask.” The cat says, “Well, I have lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”…
An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape, and a giant wave…
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow! These seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving at the…
There are only two things to worry about. Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing…
A scout master was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the desert. “What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?” he asked. Several hands went up. Many important things were suggested, such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the…
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by most everything they saw. Especially by two shiny, silver walls that would move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, father?” The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, “Son, I have never seen anything…