A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! You’re next!”
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health. He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair…
A lumberjack raised his only son and managed to finance the young man’s college education the only way he knew how. Which was cutting down trees by hand. The young man had helped his father cut down some of those trees. He knew how hard his father had to work to put him through college….
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…
Mr. Earl Johnson, a businessman from Madison, Wisconsin, went on a business trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. He immediately sent an email back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he forgot his wife’s exact email address. He got the email address mixed up. He ended up sending it to Mrs. Joan Johnson of Newark, New…
Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “Pig!” The man immediately leans out of the window and replies, “Witch!” They each continue on their way. As the man rounds the…