A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “Pig!”
The man immediately leans out of the window and replies, “Witch!”
They each continue on their way.
As the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
There’s this guy who has been stranded on a deserted island all alone for 10 years. One day, he sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even…
A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you desire is yours, just ask.” The cat says, “Well, I have lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”…
The three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order. “I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy. “I would like a coke,” said the second little piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy. The drinks are brought…
Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, the townspeople were in church listening to the Organ play. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for…
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning, he got up early and left for work. When his…