The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health.
He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the back of the classroom raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here’s what happened: Attorney: “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “So when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t…
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, the townspeople were in church listening to the Organ play. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for…
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do…
A man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks the man, “What problem are you having today?” The man says, “I’ve messed up my back. It hurts in several places when I move.” The doctor asks, “How did it happen?” The man replies, “Well, . . . Doctor, it’s like this. I’ve been suspecting my…
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “Pig!” The man immediately leans out of the window and replies, “Witch!” They each continue on their way. As the man rounds the…