The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health.
He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the back of the classroom raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning, he got up early and left for work. When his…
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…
A lumberjack raised his only son and managed to finance the young man’s college education the only way he knew how. Which was cutting down trees by hand. The young man had helped his father cut down some of those trees. He knew how hard his father had to work to put him through college….
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow! These seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving at the…
Mr. Earl Johnson, a businessman from Madison, Wisconsin, went on a business trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. He immediately sent an email back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he forgot his wife’s exact email address. He got the email address mixed up. He ended up sending it to Mrs. Joan Johnson of Newark, New…
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here’s what happened: Attorney: “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “So when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t…