Story About Yam
You know that all potatoes have eyes.
Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and finally got married.
They had a little one, a real SWEET POTATO, whom they called “YAM.”
They wanted the best for little YAM, telling her all about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting HALF-BAKED.
And that she could get MASHED, get a bad name like HOT POTATO, and then end up with a bunch of TATER TOTS.
She said not to worry; no, Mr. McSPUD would get her in the sack and make a ROTTEN POTATO out of her.
But she wouldn’t stay home and become a COUCH POTATO either.
She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her SHOESTRING cousins.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the HARD-BOILED guys from Ireland.
And even about the greasy guys from France called the FRENCH FRIES.
They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out West because she could get SCALLOPED.
YAM told her parents she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high-class Blue Bells.
Nor do they associate with the other ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say “FRITO LAY.”
Mr. and Mrs. Potato wanted the best for YAM so they sent her to Idaho PU, which is Potato University, where the BIG POTATOES come from.
And when she graduated, she’d really be in the CHIPS.
But one day she came home and said she was going to marry Walter Conkrite.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset and said she couldn’t marry him because…
because he’s just a “COMMON TATER.”