An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape, and a giant wave…

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…

Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people, whether they are employed or not. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one….

Murphy, a young man, applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job. Both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went…

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health. He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair…

There’s this guy who has been stranded on a deserted island all alone for 10 years. One day, he sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even…

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair. She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps…

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, the townspeople were in church listening to the Organ play. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for…

The three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order. “I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy. “I would like a coke,” said the second little piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy. The drinks are brought…

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow! These seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving at the…