The Jockey and the New Horse

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse.

The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear.

Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command.

The race begins, and they approach the first hurdle.

The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice.

The horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle.

The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear.

The same thing happens. The horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it.”

He yells, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loud.

Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems.

This continues for the rest of the race.

But due to the earlier problems, the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.

The jockey replied, “Nothing is wrong with me. It’s this bloody horse. What is he? Deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf — he’s BLIND!”

Similar Posts

  • The Seaman and the Pirate

    An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape, and a giant wave…

  • Cross Examine

    In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here’s what happened: Attorney: “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “So when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t…

  • A Smart Blonde

    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…

  • The Refrigerator

    A man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks the man, “What problem are you having today?” The man says, “I’ve messed up my back. It hurts in several places when I move.” The doctor asks, “How did it happen?” The man replies, “Well, . . . Doctor, it’s like this. I’ve been suspecting my…

  • Engineering Test

    Murphy, a young man, applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job. Both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went…

  • The Helicopter Ride

    Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…