A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! You’re next!”
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here’s what happened: Attorney: “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “So when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t…
There are only two things to worry about. Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing…
A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, “I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something; in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again.” “Well,” the doctor replies, “go home tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and…
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health. He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair…
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by most everything they saw. Especially by two shiny, silver walls that would move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, father?” The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, “Son, I have never seen anything…
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, the townspeople were in church listening to the Organ play. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for…