A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! You’re next!”
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “Pig!” The man immediately leans out of the window and replies, “Witch!” They each continue on their way. As the man rounds the…
A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, “I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something; in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again.” “Well,” the doctor replies, “go home tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and…
Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow! These seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving at the…
A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you desire is yours, just ask.” The cat says, “Well, I have lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”…
A man stopped at a rural gas station. After filling his gas tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his drink, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then…