A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! You’re next!”
A man stopped at a rural gas station. After filling his gas tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his drink, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then…
Mr. Earl Johnson, a businessman from Madison, Wisconsin, went on a business trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. He immediately sent an email back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he forgot his wife’s exact email address. He got the email address mixed up. He ended up sending it to Mrs. Joan Johnson of Newark, New…
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health. He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair…
Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…
A man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks the man, “What problem are you having today?” The man says, “I’ve messed up my back. It hurts in several places when I move.” The doctor asks, “How did it happen?” The man replies, “Well, . . . Doctor, it’s like this. I’ve been suspecting my…
A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, “I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something; in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again.” “Well,” the doctor replies, “go home tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and…