A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! You’re next!”
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…
You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and finally got married. They had a little one, a real SWEET POTATO, whom they called “YAM.” They wanted the best for little YAM, telling her all about the facts of life. They warned her about going out…
Murphy, a young man, applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job. Both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went…
A scout master was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the desert. “What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?” he asked. Several hands went up. Many important things were suggested, such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the…
A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, “I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something; in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again.” “Well,” the doctor replies, “go home tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and…
A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you desire is yours, just ask.” The cat says, “Well, I have lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”…