A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day, she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! You’re next!”
A lumberjack raised his only son and managed to finance the young man’s college education the only way he knew how. Which was cutting down trees by hand. The young man had helped his father cut down some of those trees. He knew how hard his father had to work to put him through college….
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning, he got up early and left for work. When his…
There are only two things to worry about. Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing…
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by most everything they saw. Especially by two shiny, silver walls that would move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, father?” The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, “Son, I have never seen anything…
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field. They saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a rowboat. The blonde driver turned to her friend and said, “You know, it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!” To this, the other blonde replied, “I know it! And…
Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…