A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “Pig!”
The man immediately leans out of the window and replies, “Witch!”
They each continue on their way.
As the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
The three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order. “I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy. “I would like a coke,” said the second little piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy. The drinks are brought…
There’s this guy who has been stranded on a deserted island all alone for 10 years. One day, he sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even…
A man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks the man, “What problem are you having today?” The man says, “I’ve messed up my back. It hurts in several places when I move.” The doctor asks, “How did it happen?” The man replies, “Well, . . . Doctor, it’s like this. I’ve been suspecting my…
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here’s what happened: Attorney: “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?” Coroner: “No.” Attorney: “So when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t…
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning, he got up early and left for work. When his…
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do…