A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “Pig!”
The man immediately leans out of the window and replies, “Witch!”
They each continue on their way.
As the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
A scout master was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the desert. “What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?” he asked. Several hands went up. Many important things were suggested, such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the…
Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…
A man stopped at a rural gas station. After filling his gas tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his drink, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then…
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning, he got up early and left for work. When his…
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health. He proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair…
There are only two things to worry about. Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing…