Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field. They saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a rowboat. The blonde driver turned to her friend and said, “You know, it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!” To this, the other blonde replied, “I know it! And…

Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people, whether they are employed or not. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one….

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do…

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the blonde hands over the…

A lumberjack raised his only son and managed to finance the young man’s college education the only way he knew how. Which was cutting down trees by hand. The young man had helped his father cut down some of those trees. He knew how hard his father had to work to put him through college….

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape, and a giant wave…

A man stopped at a rural gas station. After filling his gas tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his drink, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then…

Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year. And every year, Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and…

The three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order. “I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy. “I would like a coke,” said the second little piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy. The drinks are brought…

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow! These seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving at the…